On the morning of December 18th, I sent a text to Matty B. “Get on that line.” The following was our iChat conversation:
MB: What’s up?
TC: Looks like JRich and Hedo going to Orlando for Gortat and Carter.
MB: Whoaaaaaaaa.
MB: I mean…
MB: How do you know this?
TC: So, I heard the rumor through that grapevine, and I just saw on the ESPN ticker “Orlando close to acquiring Arenas, Richardson, and Turkoglu.”
MB: Wow.
TC: Yeah, apparently they’re trading Rashard Lewis for Arenas.
MB: Jesus
MB: I mean
MB: Orlando just became a MUCH BETTER TEAM.
MB: And by the way, FUCK!!!
TC: It hasn’t been confirmed whether it’s Carter and Gortat, that’s just the rumor. It could be other players.
TC: I mean, Jrich. He’s gone.
MB: Yeah dude, your guy.
MB: He’s gonna thrive in Orlando.
MB: Have you talked to anyone else about this?
TC: I talked to JK briefly
TC: And then I actually just talked to Drew on the phone about it
MB: Interesting
MB: Why were you talking to Drew
TC: He’s in LA for his bday weekend
TC: He was surprised about the trade
TC: Told him how I feared Nash would be next, and he said “Oh, maybe he’ll go play for the Lakers”
MB: Wait, what?!
MB: Fuck that man!
MB: Loser!
MB: Why the Lakers??
TC: Said he thought Kobe and Nash together would be unreal
MB: WHAT THE FUCK?!
MB: Is he kidding?!
TC: Hahah
TC: Sounded serious
TC: He was real interested in the possibility of a Kobe/Nash backcourt
MB: Dude
MB: That makes me irate
MB: That’s like Drew calling me and saying “I know you just broke up with your five year girlfriend, but I’m going to fuck her repeatedly now”
TC: Hahaha
TC: And then, I’m gonna let everyone I know fuck her too
TC: Then send you the videotapes
MB: It’s even worse than that actually
MB: He just hears Nash could be traded and instantly thinks Lakers?
MB: So fucking loserish
TC: Well
TC: I think I said Nash could be next and he asked to who
TC: And I said it could be anyone, he’ll make any team better
MB: And he just instantly thinks Lakers?
TC: I think he said maybe he’ll go back to the Mavs, but then said “or maybe the Lakers!”
TC: But yeah man, huge loser
MB: Fuck that
MB: The huge Giants fan is now a big supporter of the Lakers
MB: I’d rather see Nash dead than on the Lakers
TC: Hahah.
MB: That wipes out Nash’s entirely legacy with phx
MB: I’d hate him
TC: I don’t know if he’s a Lakers fan as much as he was curious about the Nash Kobe combo
MB: I mean, doesn’t matter
TC: He’s just lost his AZ allegiances
MB: And his credibility
TC: Well, anyway
TC: Jrich is gone.
TC: We’re not gonna score the ball easily
MB: I mean
MB: Orlando could be the best team in the east
TC: I mean
TC: I don’t know about that.
TC: Does this really make them better? I guess Lewis doesn’t do shit, Carter’s old, and Gortat is stuck behind Howard.
MB: Well, their starting five is Nelson, Jrich, Turkoglu, Howard…
MB: I mean
MB: Who plays their three?
TC: Would they play Arenas and Jrich at the same time?
TC: I mean, it seems like they’re the same player. Why get both?
TC: They now have Arenas, Jrich, Redick, Pietrus, Quetin Richardson
MB: Yeah why all these two guards??
TC: They all play the same position.
MB: Maybe Arenas backs up Nelson at point
TC: And who does play the three? Turkoglu? Does Bass play four now?
MB: I mean…
MB: Yeah I guess Bass at four
MB: Jrich is good for them cause he doesn’t need the ball
MB: But Arenas and Turkoglu both need the ball to be effective
TC: Is Arenas even good anymore?
TC: I’d rather have an ineffective Rashard Lewis than Arenas
MB: I mean
MB: I think he’s supposed to be good
MB: Jesus man.
MB: Fucking Suns
MB: That’s it. Nash is next, and we’re committed to rebuilding.
TC: I mean
TC: I don’t know what I’d do if we lost Nash.
MB: No shit
TC: I’ll tell you what though, this Gortat could be good. He’s been shadowed behind Howard and he’s athletic.
MB: Maybe
MB: I mean, what if you put Gortat and Lopez in together.
MB: And Frye at that three. Just go big!
TC: Hahah. Would be unreal.
TC: I’m telling you though
TC: Gortat is a capable, athletic center though. I think he could be good.
MB: I mean
MB: I don’t think I can get behind Gortat.
MB: But maybe the Phoenix medical staff can make Carter return to form.
TC: Give him some of that HGH they gave Hill.
MB: Haha
MB: I could see Carter flourishing with Nash
MB: A return to form.
TC: I always thought he had something left in the tank.
MB: Haha didn’t take long for us to spin this in a positive light.
TC: Hahaha. So true. Like after the Hedo trade
MB: Or Terry Porter as head coach, or Shaq, or letting Amare go…
TC: Haha we spin everything instantly
MB: I just don’t know about this.
MB: I don’t know how to feel
MB: Like, I don’t envision texting you “God I want to suck Gortat’s dick.” It won’t be the same.
TC: Yeah, looks like I’m done talking about the blowjobs I’d give to Jrich.
MB: Oh you see that play by Gortat! I’d just suck him for hours!
TC: Hahahahha. Doesn’t have the same ring.
TC What about that Redick?
MB: What about Redick? Is he in the trade?
TC: Well I don’t know.
TC: I’m just saying if he came, it’d be easier to talk about sucking his dick.
MB: LOL
MB: Best looking guy in the NBA.
MB: I mean when is this going through.
MB: I’m checking websites and seeing nothing
TC: I don’t know
TC: I really want to know who we’re getting though
TC: I hope this isn’t some three team trade where we get Arenas or something.
MB: Yeah I was gonna say this could be a three teamer.
MB: Wash gets Lewis and Carter, Gortat comes here.
TC: Dude I hate Arenas. I’ll be furious.
MB: I could get behind that Arenas
TC: Fuck that, he’s a loser.
MB: So this is probably a contractual trade.
MB: Jrich is expiring
TC: Yeah
TC: And we signed Hedo to that horrible contract, so that’s gone
MB: Just picking up Hedo on the off chance he returns to form
TC: He probably will, which will piss me off
MB: This is gonna go down as one of those teams like five years from now we’re like “Remember when the Suns had Vince Carter? What the fuck?”
TC: Yeah
TC: Shaq is kind of like that too
TC: Alright I’m out – I’ll keep you posted if I hear anything more
TC: We’ll talk more later
MB: Alright
MB: Peace
Tough not to be encouraged by this
So that was our initial reaction to the rumors of this “blockbuster” trade. Now, days later, we have the full details. Jrich, Turkoglu, and under-performing Earl Clark sent to Orlando for Vince Carter, Gortat, Mikael Pietrus, a first round pick, and cash.
As I write this, the Suns just came off a win in Oklahoma City, which is pretty inexplicable. I watched the game and I’m still not entirely sure how it happened, other than Grant Hill getting 30 and 11 (and even sharing Durant defense with Childress). I mean, Christ – what could Grant Hill have been without the injury plagued years? It’s been speculated upon ad nauseum, but a game like last night really makes you wonder. And you don’t get very far when discussing a Suns victory without saying the following two words - Steven Nash. He looked as calm and collected as ever – at one point I think I read his lips to Gentry when he said, “I’m a Churchill-esque leader and this is a very easy game for me.” And he’s right. You’d never know there were any trade clouds hanging over the Suns. In fact, I was reading Marc Spears’ Yahoo article about the “Is Nash next to go?” and it actually assuaged a lot of my (and Matt’s, as listed above) fears about him going. If you don’t want to read the article, allow me to summarize it with one quote from Nash’s agent Bill Duffy:
““He’s a treasure to the fans there. He’s revered there… He’s everything. He’s the identity of the organization.”
I mean, that’s just true, and that right there is exactly why Matt had a conniption over the idea that Nash could play for the Lakers. Anyway, enough about that. To finish thoughts on the OKC game, Lopez and Childress played really well, Dragic had some key plays, and the Suns get a big win. We’ll see how they play tonight against San Antonio, as they won’t have the new guys until Thursday for the heat.
Now the trade.
Vince Carter. When speaking of Grant Hill’s ageless performances, the discussion always comes to the Phoenix medical staff. As Matt and I discuss above in our iChat conversation, if this vaunted group of trainers and doctors can somehow also fix Vince Carter’s woes, the Suns could be pretty dangerous. At least, I think so. But actually, all this talk about Carter lately has made me wonder: was he ever any good? I remember thinking he was; I remember him being an All-Star; I even think I remember him being top five in the league while on Toronto… And I guess he was. But that seems like decades ago. He didn’t do anything for the Magic and he should have been one of their best players. Plus, his years on New Jersey seem like even more of a distant memory than his years on Toronto (I was shocked to see that Carter didn’t get to the Nets until after they made the Finals against the Spurs in ’03). So now I’m saying maybe the Phoenix medical staff can help him return to form. But wait: are injuries even a part of his decline? I really don’t know, and I’m not gonna look it up. All I do know is that I decided to check in on Vinsanity to see if he really warrants any kind of discussion. And Jesus, if you’ve got six minutes, take a look at this and remember. He’s not gonna do much of that anymore, but still, it warrants respect.
Then there’s Gortat. A young center who is athletic, skilled, and entirely capable of being a high quality starting center in this league. Plus, he’s ripe for puns and clever insults. As our greased-man-in-residence TK noted: “Cheesy Gortat-a Crunch.” Not to mention the fact that I badly want to receive a text from someone in Phoenix saying “Apparently Gortat fucked [insert slut from high school whom it would be hilarious to hear about on the receiving end of Gortat’s actual polish hammer].” Now we’ve got the 22 year old Lopez and the 26 year old Gortat, both solid players with lots of room for improvement. I mean, Gortat could potentially play power forward and really make Phoenix’s inside game great. But does that fit the system with Steve Nash? I guess we’ll see, as I imagine Gentry will try out all kinds of combinations to see what works. But really what it looks like is gonna happen is that Lopez or Gortat are gonna be part of a trade before the deadline in February. The Suns are most likely going to go for an emerging Power Forward, and the only way to get a player of any quality is going to be to include a young center like Gortat or Lopez in the deal, since young centers are valuable commodities in the NBA. But since the Magic players need to stay on the roster for two months, there can’t be talk of a package featuring Gortat or Carter (he could very well be traded as well with that expiring contract) until near that deadline. Most pundits say bank on the Suns roster looking very different come the end of Feburary.
Finally, Pietrus was an addition that I didn’t hear about in the initial trade rumors. I like him, but he’s pretty streaky. He can definitely make big shots and can surprise you on the offensive end, but he kind of strikes me as Jrich with about half of the talent. Though now that I know he’s coming to the Suns, it’s hard for me not to see that he’s exactly what the Suns need, and he’s going to make them a hell of a lot more dangerous (as stated above, a positive spin on any player coming here is inevitable).
Throw in a first round pick, which is gonna be late twenties considering the Magic’s quality as a team, and there you have it. Our good friend Jonathan Kolb had the following to say about the trade:
“I hope Orlando realizes that if/when Jrich leaves them in the offeseason, they traded Carter, Pietrus, Gortat, and a 1st for Hedo.”
Hedo's gonna miss Bianco
That almost makes you laugh. Since Jrich has an expiring contract, he could potentially go anywhere. JK is quick to point out that Carter is the same, expiring, so really you could say it’s Pietrus, Gortat, and a first for Hedo. But that’s laughable. Good riddance to Hedo. He had the opportunity to win a lot of fans over here, but instead he did nothing on the court and prowled the streets of Phoenix for cheap Eastern European whores. What a failed experiment.
Thursday, Miami vs. Phoenix. The Polish Hammer and Vinsanity make their debut on the Suns against King Cocksucker and the Heat. Gonna be real good. REEEAAAAAAL good.
-TC
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